.April 5, 2009 @ 11:52 PM Y
princessangel
I dun understand guys.
I dun wanna understand guys either.
Who the heck are they to deserve my attention?!
But i have no idea why the heck for this dumb dumb guy, im stalking my everything just for him.
I admit im silly, im stupid, im selfish.
Im crying, hitting myself, blaming myself for the smallest issue in the world.
Nothing he does makes me happy.
Nothing i does makes him happy either.
Why am we still together? Is the god putting us for this test?
Sometimes i start hating -idol-. If not for them, i wun be in this miserable situation again.
Sometimes i start hating myself. If not for wanting to fall in love again, i wun be in this miserable situation again.
But i wun blame him (even though verbally i always does), cuz for the start im the cause for everything.
Im really very tired, please stop everything!
Please allow me to lost my memory or die from any kind of accident.
At least i wun remember anything and just start anew.
At least i wun break my promise towards him & my parent on suicide.
You are right, i always saying i wanna die but i never.
Threaten.... Meaning simply say but never do it..
I wish i could, but really, unable to.
I cant bear to leaves you and my family.
Im a crowd. Im just all say and no action.
I wish i have the courage to do it too.
Sorry for always lying to you.
I wish to break you free too.
But i simply loves you (and my family) too deeply.
I simply... Cant bear to leave all of you and break the promise.
Sorry....