Today was great! Meeting Nechan, Ojou & Yen. =D
We had fun chatting the whole night and refilling our drink. Hehehe..

But my whole mind was... Thinking about Laogong..
I really feels like hugging him right now.. *blush*

Oh yea before i forget, my colleagues was discussing the main reason most guys wanna married are for SEX. For the least tats what my manager told us. I went to ask laogong for reason why he wanna marry me.. I gave him 3chances to reply to my question.
1. I want to move out with you.
2. I want to live with you.
3. I love you.
Actually the first 2 reasons were nice, but yea im definitely waiting for him to say the 3rd reason. At least, he did say it after 2 not-so-correct attempt. =D I love it when he said it out and clear to me tat he loves me! *smiles*

Laogong, i love you!! *muackieee*

It have been so long since........

I miss laogong so muchie!!

Is it because of the book which i read recently?
Well well while chat over the phone on my way home, laogong said he said he wanna resign (in office) is just a moment anger. I got alittle pissed cuz he doesnt know wad he wants at all. But, thinking back on the book, i guess he really just said at the spur of moment. Anyways, even though i would prefer him to resign now and find a more stable job for our future & for his own happiness, but at the end of the day its his own decision. No matter what, he confirmed will resigned once his contract end (as what he promised me) so yea.. I shouldnt quarrel with him over this issue...

Some interesting fact from the book MEN Are from MARS, WOMEN Are from VENUS.
The Venusian/Martian Phrase Dictionary

"We never go out" translated in Martain means "I feel like going out and doing something together. We always have such a fun time, and i love being with you. What do you think? Would you take me out to dinner? It has been a few days since we went out."

Without this translation, when a woman says "We never go out" a man may hear "You are not doing your job. What a disappointment you have turned out to be. We never do anything together anymore because you are lazy, unromantic, and just boring."

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"Everyone ignores me" translated into Martian means "Today, I am feeling ignored and unacknowledged. I feel as though nobody see me. Of couse i'm sure some people see me, but they don't seem to care about me. I suppose i am also disappointed that you have been so busy lately. I really do appreciate how hard you are working and sometimes i start to feel like i am not important to you. I am afraid your work is more important than me. Would you give me a hug and tell me how special i am to you?"

Without this translation, when a woman says "Everyone ignores me" a man may hear "I am so unhappy. I just can't get the attention i need. Everything is completely hopeless. Even you don't notice me, and you are the person who i suppose to love me. You should be ashamed. You are so unloving. I would never ignore you this way."

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"I am so tired, I cant do anything" translated into Martian means "I have been doing so much today. I really need a rest before i can do anything more. I am so lucky to have your support. Would you give me a hug and reassure me that i am doing a good job and that i deserve a rest?"

Without this translation, when a woman says "I am so tired, I can't do anything" a man may hear "I do everything and you do nothing. You should do more. I can't do it all. I feel so hopeless. I want a 'real man' to live with. Picking you was a big mistake."

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"I want to forget everything" translated into Martian means "I want you to know that i love my work and my life but today i am so overwhelmed. I would love to do something really nurturing for myself before i have to be responsible again. Would you ask me "What's the matter?" and then listen with empathy without offering any solutions? I just want to feel you understanding the pressures i feel. It would make me feel so much better. It helps me to relax. Tomorrow i will get back to being responsible and handling things."

Without this translation, when a woman says "I want to forget everything" a man may hear "I have to do so much that i don't want to do. I am so unhappy with you and our relationship. I want a better partner who can make my life more fulfilling. You are doing a terrible job."

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"This house is always a mess" translated into Martian means "Today i feel like relaxing, but the house is so messy. I am frustrated and i need a rest. I hope you don;t expect me to clean it all up. Would you agree with me that it is a mess and then offer to help clean up part of it?"

Without this translation, when a woman says "This house is always a mess" a man may hear "This house is a mess because of you. I do everything possible to clean it up, and before i have finished, you have messed it up again. You are a lazy slob and i don't want to live with you unless you change. Clean up or clear out!"

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"No one listens to me anymore" translated into Martian means "I am afraid i am boring to you. I am afraid you are no longer interested in me. I seem to be very sensitive today. Would you give me some special attention? I would love it. I've had a hard day and feel as though no one wants to hear what i have to say. Would you listen to me and continue to ask me supportive questions such as: 'What happened today? What else happened? How did you feel? What did you want? How else do you feel?' Also support me by saying caring, acknowledging, and reassuring statements such as: 'Tell me more' or 'That's right' or 'I know what you mean' or 'I understand.' Or just listen, and occasionally when i pause make one of these reasuring sounds: 'oh', 'humph', 'uh-huh,' and 'hmmm.'" (Note: Martians had never heard of these sounds before arriving on Venus.

Without this translation, when a woman says "No one listens to me anymore" he may hear "I give you my attention but you don't listen to me. You used to. You have become a very boring person to be with. I want someone exciting and interesting and you are definitely not that person. You have disappointed me. You are selfish, uncaring, and bad."

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"Nothing is working" translated into Martian means "Today i am so overwhelmed and i am so grateful that i can share my feelins with you. It helps me so much to feel better. Today it seems like nothing i do works. I know that this is not true, but i sure i feel that way when i get so overwhelmed by all the things i still have to do. Would you give me a hug and tell me that i am doing a great job. It would sure feel good."

Without this translation, when a woman says "Nothing is working" a man may hear "You never do anything right. I can't trust you. If i haven't listened to you i wouldn't be in this mess. Anothing man would have fixed things, but you made them worst."

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"You don't love me anymore" translated into Martian means "Today i am feeling as though you don't love me. I am afraid i have pushed you away. I know you really do love me, you do so much for me. Today i am just feeling a little insecure. Would you reassure me of your love and tell me those three magic words, i love you. When you do that it feels so good."

Without this translation, when a woman says "You don't love me anymore" a man may hear "I have given you the best years of my life, and you have given me nothing. You used me. You are selfish and cold. You do what you want to do for you and only you. You do not care about anybody. I was a food for loving you. Now i have nothing."

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"You are always in a hurry" translated into Martian means "I feel so rushed today. I don't like rushing. I wish our life was not so hurried. I know it is nobody's fault and i certainly don't blame you. I know you are doing your best to get us there on time and i really appreciate how much you care. "Would you empathize with me and say soemthing like, 'It is hard always rushing around. I don't always like rushing either.'"

Without this translation, when a woman says "We are always in a hurry" a man may hear "You are so irresponsible. You wait until the last minute to do everything. I can never be happy when i am with you. We are always rushing to avoid being late. You ruin things every time i am with you. I am so much happier when i am not around you."

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"I want more romance" translated into Martian means "Sweetheart, you have been working so hard lately. Let's take some time out for ourselves. I love it when we can relax and be alone without the kids around and no work pressures. You are so romantic. Would you surprise me with flowers sometime soon and take me out on a date? I love being romanced."

Without this translation, when a woman says "I want more romance" a man may hear "You don't satify me anymore. I am not turned on to you. Your romantic skills are definitely inadequate. You have never really fulfilled me. I wish you were more like other men i have been with."

Hmmm, i finish typing & highlighting & bolding in 45mins time. Sad, my typing skill definitely gotten worst.

Cant wait to hug laogong tomorrow. And yea i packed partial of my bag, i really wonder how am i going to drag it to work tml.. T.T

Oh well well came online to delete those posts which make laogong angry.. *smack myself*

Just had a great cries cuz of the topic i and my mama had.. *sigh* Okies lo, we will save hard together to make it happen. Since she want face so much, den give it to her lo.. ><"! No choice.. T.T

Together, we can make it happen happily right? =D

Anyways its first time im so hooked to a book and wanted to read it fast.
John Gray. PH.D. - MEN Are from MARS, WOMEN Are from VENUS.

Well well after reading the introduction chapters, i really like it. I guess it really teaches us how to make a good relationship (and i hope it really does yo!).

And yes before i forget, me & laogong had a great racing experience last night. Hahas. Once again, laogong "stole" his papa's car and we went on a drive to Tamesak Polytechnic. On the way back to his house, its a quite long road and he drove at the speed of 140km/h. OMG! The feeling is OMG OMG OMG fast! But its so exciting. Hehe! But never play again cuz its very dangerous ne. =P

Love laogong lots! =D

Recently laogong keep saying im playing with his feeling. Actually, i feel i am really.. Alittle..

Everytime when he asked me if i wanna marry him, i would say No..
When he asked me if i love him, i would say No...
When he asked me why? I would say No Feeling..
When he asked me how? I would say Let's Break Up..
When he said no, i would say I want..

In fact....
I wanna marry him!
I love him!
I have total feeling for him!
I never wanna break up!
I never wanna be seperate from him!

Everytime when he is with me, it seems hard to treasure him..
Everytime when heis not with me, it seems hard not to think of him..

I have no idea wad's on my mind..
Sigh....

Im bored and went on to goggle on "how to love a person".
Reason being, i feel tat i really dunno how to love a person.

Nice One Here~
"How about the greatest couple, who's husband buys her flowers and gifts and takes her out on a regular basis, and we all say how lucky she is, and than BOOM... The next thing you hear is they are going through a bitter divorce.... and nobody can believe it. Why - because he showed his love through guilt, but she never felt love, oh sure she got alot of flowers and gifts, but none of that matters if you don't feel love."

"Actions speak louder than words. It's better to know someone loves you without being told 'cause anyone can say 'I love you' and also it does not matter how long you're together to say 'I love you' cause love has no time limit you go by when it's there it's there, say it when you feel it and it could be infatuation but I would hope you'd know the difference. "

"I will know that the person i love loves me too, maybe if he always look for me, which made his day complete."

"If there's a slight doubt in your mind that he / she doesn't love you back then he / she hasn't convinced you enough and therefore doesn't love you enough to make you believe how he / she feels.. therefore maybe doesn't feel that way at all. Its not about you knowing if he / she loves you it's about him / her making you believe in it. "

Go on to the website to read more if you wanna learn the whole story..
Seriously, dun think i can do it perfectly, but i will try..
But before tat, can he do things which i really hoping for? like those which i highlighted in red?

=================================
Anyways he smsed me these As below:
Him: laopo, just read your blog. I love you too! Muacks!
Me: i love you too! But actually nothing to loves about abt last night entry. One is not good at all! Hahas!
Him: Its ok la. I trust you can le. *hugs*
Me: I can wat?
Him: You dun trust me nvm. I trust you can le.
Me: You happy den like this say. If not.. Sigh!
Him: You guai guai lor. Then i'll be happy every day.

Quite happy at first with his reply. But the last sms really spoilt my everything!
Like what i highlighted (one of it), its you who doesnt make me feel secure so its your job to convince & make me believe... In order to stop worrying for this and that.. Which results in me throwing temper & make you unhappy.. And you are saying i am the one who always make you unhappy! *roars*

Whatever it is he is smart enough to call me when i sms him "sleeping now?". If not im sure i will start to be even worst moody!

=================================
Carry on to have my dinner at living room and was telling mama tat his mama keep asking him to buy punggol flat. My mama was saying like we are not even real stable yet and shouldnt rush into buying flat. It comes to my mind tat is he really the one who i can and will be happy to stay with for the rest of the life?

Flat is a lifetime matter. So is marriage.
On regular basic he buy me breakfast, accompany me on weekends.
What i have is breakfast & his time..
But none of that matters if i don't feel love. (Sound familiar ne?)

To continue with 2 posts above..
Im the highest-maintence girlfriend in this world...
Like what he said before, he tired his best but seems like nothing he does make me happy..
I lost my way of happiness long ago. I could no longer be happy!
Nobody around me will be happy with me.. Im a curse!

Before i forget and slap myself to sleep!~

Happy 5th month with LOVES (lots of it) to my dearest
Laogong, AiAi, Deardear, Honey, Andrew, JingXiang
i cant remember more, perhaps you can enlighten me? =D

I promise i will love you always!!
*muackieeeeeeeee* (lots of it!)

I always feel tat im the lowest-maintence girlfriend in the world. I wun really asked my guy to buy me expenseive stuffs nor asked for expensive dinner at blablabla restaurant.

I was wrong! And still on-going!

Im actually the highest-maintence girlfriend in the world!

Why?

Chinese have a saying, 时间就是金钱.
I wanna have all of his time every hour, every minute, every second (perhaps milli-seconds too!).

Im seriously so selfish!
I can go out and play with my ladies friends, whereby he cant go out with any of his friend without me around.
Sometimes i really feel so pity for him, but i wun change my stand bcuz of this.
Understand and will do it or not is just... 2 different things ne...

Oh yea, just chanced upon a article which it wrote about controlling your partner in a relationship. It wrote something as this is not love if you are trying to control everything of a person. Im definitely the one who they are pin-pointing in the article.

He always say if i dun trust him, why should i continue the relationship?
Im starting to doubt myself.. If i dun love him, why am i so afraid of lossing him??
Where can i find an answer for this?
If i cant even trust myself, who else can i trust??

Sometimes i dun even know if he really loves me or for some other reasons.........
Shit! Im starting to think negative again!
*slap myself to sleep!*

I dun understand guys.
I dun wanna understand guys either.
Who the heck are they to deserve my attention?!

But i have no idea why the heck for this dumb dumb guy, im stalking my everything just for him.
I admit im silly, im stupid, im selfish.
Im crying, hitting myself, blaming myself for the smallest issue in the world.

Nothing he does makes me happy.
Nothing i does makes him happy either.
Why am we still together? Is the god putting us for this test?
Sometimes i start hating -idol-. If not for them, i wun be in this miserable situation again.
Sometimes i start hating myself. If not for wanting to fall in love again, i wun be in this miserable situation again.
But i wun blame him (even though verbally i always does), cuz for the start im the cause for everything.

Im really very tired, please stop everything!
Please allow me to lost my memory or die from any kind of accident.
At least i wun remember anything and just start anew.
At least i wun break my promise towards him & my parent on suicide.

You are right, i always saying i wanna die but i never.
Threaten.... Meaning simply say but never do it..
I wish i could, but really, unable to.
I cant bear to leaves you and my family.
Im a crowd. Im just all say and no action.
I wish i have the courage to do it too.

Sorry for always lying to you.
I wish to break you free too.
But i simply loves you (and my family) too deeply.
I simply... Cant bear to leave all of you and break the promise.
Sorry....

Finally.. Finally... Finally.... Im going to cry in tears....... =D

Guess what? This is the conversation we had before lunchie~~
Me: He cant talk to any girls
Serene: How about you?
Me: I can talk to any guys
He: She always talk to BH!! @*#&@&@
Serene: Oppsss, i smell jealousy~

Wahaha!! Was really very happy to finally sense jealousy from him!~ From the start, i always wanted him to get jealous over me always talking to BH! Yes, i know he trusted that i wun fall in love with BH, but well well, i still want (and loves to have more!) him to get jealous over it!~ =D

Jealous over me alot alot alot MORE!~
How nice if he can do it everyday!~
Wahaha!!

Oh yea, we went to catch minnie mouse @ marina square after lunch. Spent $8 one shot and caught it! Oh yea~!!! Minnie Mouse in pyjamas~ Mecha mecha kawaii desu ne!~ And the minnie mouse will walk when operate by battery~! He said he will catch mickey mouse for me soon~ Cuz i love to see them in pair, even though i dun really fancy mickey mouse at all! =D

He gave me his hand cuff keychain cuz he used our mickey & minnie mouse heart keychain~ Oh yea!~ I had baby mickey & minnie hand cuff once im home. Qiqi tried to break the cuff off but lalala~ Make of metal? Wun be broke off so easily de yo~ They are going to be together F-O-R-E-V-E-R!~ Never never get seperated. Even though i admit, its cruel to cuff them like this. But well well, they are only going to sleep beside me, no where else so i guess its alright~! =D

Was telling him that i wanna buy more mickey & minnie products when im in Shibuya's Disney Shop~! WOW!! Finally, i can go back and buy the stuffs which i missed last year (due to insuff fund). LOL!

Happy happy day today!!~~

Dun really feel like dying in *****days anymore. But well, still continues to countdown until the thoughts really dies off (someday). Hahahas!~

He's sweet to me today. For some unknown reason.

However when im crying at opposite sofa and he called, how i wished he could come right away. But he didnt. I guess, i shouldnt have expect much from him.

Was great tat we didnt quarrel during lunch time, cuz im telling vanessa we might end up quarrelling. Oh well. He did pampered & "hon" me. Which im certain he havent been doing so for a long period of time. Was telling him to "hon" me everyday, since i dun have much days left.

He asked me not to leave him. If im going in *****days, bring him along. Why should i?! Im going hell and he's going heaven. Different route. No point dying with me isnt it?

Vanessa says i need to visit a psychiatrist cuz im getting more and more depressed. I think i need it too. If not i might end up going blind (crying everyday with AND without problems) or psychically bruised (hitting myself with AND without problems). Waste $$..

I just wanna die, seriously.. Nothing for me to stay in this world except to take care of my parent. But i guess my brother should be old enough to take care of them for me.

I have nothing to worry anymore.. Looking forward to *****days..................

Angeline / Miyuki
Attached
14 October

Family
Laogong
Nechan
Ojou
Arashi

Ice-Cream
Chocolate
Soya Bean Milk

My Japanese Blog
Laogong

Excite Translator
AnimeLab Translator

Jan 03: PeiQi's Birthday
Jan 04: MayDay's Concert
Jan 10: Xiao Shu's Wedding
Jan 16: 2nd Month with LOVES
Jan 17: Rebonding with Arlene
Jan 25: Sakurai Sho's Birthday
Jan 26: Chinese New Year
Jan 30: Papa's Birthday
Feb 06: JAS Graduation Night
Feb 14: Valentine Day
Feb 16: 3rd Month with LOVES
Feb 22: WeiXiang's Birthday
Feb 28: 嵐 カレンダー
Mar 04: 嵐 - BELIEVE/曇りのち、快晴
Mar 16: 4th Month with LOVES
Mar 19: Laogong's Birthday
Mar 19: Genting with Family & Laogong
Apr 16: 5th Month with LOVES
May 16: 6th Month with LOVES
Jun 04: Mama's Birthday
Jun 13: Japan 2009 with Laogong <3
Jun 16: 7th Month with LOVES
Jun 17: Ninomiya Kazunari's Birthday
Jul 01: Yuyan's Birthday
Jul 16: 8th Month with LOVES
Jul 30: Nechan's Birthday

January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009